Week 7: Rest

I just had my spring break this week. While some students went on road trips or parties, I stayed home with my family to just rest. Throughout the year, I had trouble sleeping because I tend to overthink at night. Of course, it's great to be with my family, but I took advantage of the week off and took the time to simply rest. This is why I haven't posted content on my photography/poetry Instagram account. I just wanted to rest, consume my energy, and find motivation to move forward.

Last December, I went to a retreat with my home church at a camp site in Crestline called Thousand Pines. I didn't want to go, but was convinced in the end to join as the photographer (which is funny because I couldn't use my camera; I forgot my batteries). It still was a time for me to put work and school aside for one weekend to rest. Now, I was very upset because I really wanted to use my camera and this shows my inexperience. But, still, somehow... I managed to rest.

That Saturday inside a coffee shop in the camp, I talked to a closed buddy of mine about this photo-poem series I want to do in the near future. It involves with the idea of seeking God, even though He is an omnipresent God. The key passage is what Jesus said in Matthew 7:7-8. I based this idea on the story of Job, my testimony, and another closed friend of mine who was struggling at the time. It's funny because the cashier lady said she felt "the Spirit of God" or something like that, but she couldn't hear the conversation. Now is that a coincidence or was it actually God? I don't know; even till this day, I don't know if the Spirit was present at that moment in time. All in all, I put this project on hold due to personal reasons. It's good for me to put this to rest for now and see my current life condition. If anything, the time off can give me more ideas to improve the project.

On Thursday, March 7 (three months after the retreat), I returned to the camp for a summer job interview. At first, I was shaking and feeling nauseous because of those memories that returned in my mind (don't ask why; I don't know how it happened). Thankfully, the interview went well. After the interview, I walked around the camp site with my little sister to complete this week's practice. I thought about the idea of resting when being restless. For my case, it's frustrating to not do anything after returning from a busy school semester; that's how I felt during my past winter break. But, in the accounts of creation, God rested on the 7th day after creating. It's crazy how the Creator of the universe took a day off to rest.

These poems and photos, while depict my surrounding at the time, also covers resting and being restless. If I were to pick a verse that inspired me to write and take photos about rest, it's Matthew 11:28 - “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

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Pathway to the Forest

Strolling through the soaked,

foggy pathway filled with dull

tress, masking the sky.

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The Wilderness

Glaring straight at the

saturated wilderness:

fallen logs; green trees.

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The Mountain Highway

Forty hundred feet

above town; on the highway;

view the horizon.

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Restless

I am restless.

Foggy sight; gloomy forest

on the horizon.

Unclear with the promise

of finding Zion.

No sign of life nearby;

I walk alone.

It's rest I should apply;

rest my dry bones.

I am restless;

Like the overcast sky,

my future seems dim.

Did I let you pass by

me as I grimed

once again; did I omit

the clearer pathway?

It may be time to admit

that I went astray.

I am restless.

The dull trees ahead

buried all sight

of the path; left for dead

'till the end of the night.

But, like a child

anxious to seek and find,

I shall walk in the wild,

to clear my mind

And cast them onto your selfless

love, for I am restless.